Cranky as she goes Two months ago I gave up caffeine and wine and set my alcohol limit at 2 or 3 drinks a night. Then, four weeks ago, I quit alcohol completely. At this point I feel lucky the Mormons haven't come by in the Teetotal Wagon to take me to Provo.

Sobriety has been an educational experience, one I'd like to share in the hope that others never have to go through it. Here are some things I've learned about drinking and sobriety:

1. Driving home at 3 a.m. is challenging even when you haven't been drinking.
2. Office holiday parties are a minefield for indiscreet comments, overly enthusiastic public dancing, and next-day regret, even when you haven't been drinking.
3. Parties and dance clubs are 99% as much fun sober as not -- at least until about 1 o'clock when everyone else is too drunk to relate to anymore. Concerts, maybe 75%.
4. Bars are the dullest human institutions there are. Especially the bars I go to.
5. Not drinking is kind of like dieting. At first it's fine. You feel good, clean, like your body's absorbing all the health you're providing.
6. Then you try and compensate. In my case I go out to dinner and brunch, with predictable side effects that far outweigh (heh) the caloric benefits of avoiding alcohol.
7. Then you get pissy and resentful about your martyrdom, realize you're unfit human company, and start watching movies and blogging.
8. Being able to drive home in a warm car at 3 a.m. in January is absolute bliss.
9. Being the Station Wagon Mom for all your drunk-ass friends is gratifying -- at least initially.

Here is what I learned about drinking and headaches: They actually don't have much to do with one another. Thank Cthulu for His many-armed blessings. 

¶ 11:49 PM