Prairie Landing
Today me and the 43 others in my work group went out to lunch at the Phoenix, the dim sum place I've been to twice. I liked the dim sum, but this time I just felt ill. There was a pile of what looked like thick, clear noodles, which turned out to be
jellyfish. This had the texture of greasy Gummi Worms, or maybe real worms; eventually I gave up and just let it all slither down my throat. Also some BBQ pork that, try as I might, I could not find any non-fatty bites of. A dish of shiitake (or as my coworker said, "Shit Take") mushrooms looked promising, but featured a flavorless, colorless sauce with the consistency of saliva. In the sauce the shrooms bloated like Cheerios in water.
Also, there was a stuffed chicken and I couldn't tell what was the stuffing and what was the chicken (in my mind I couldn't get any of it to be chicken). The entire thing had been deep-fried and the
head sat on the platter, beak open, tongue poking, eye opaqued by the breading.
What with all of that trauma and little actual eating, I probably drank more than my fair share of wine. Even the waiter was surprised when I wanted my red
and white glasses filled up.
I saw on Noise Footprint's Journal that you're not supposed to blog about what you had for lunch but think this justifies an exception.
The Riverwalk in San Antonio definitely could've inspired Providence's, per Gene's comment, but there is simply no comparison due to the climate difference. When I left yesterday, it was 94 degrees and the humidity was swirling. So what do you do with a Riverwalk in that situation? You build it below grade, so it's nearly always shady. Plus there's a profusion of tall, muggy-loving, flowering plants everywhere along with the smell of something clean and green that's rotting. And everything is in Spanish, with the English translation in smaller type (sometimes). In short, the experience is nothing like the comparatively sterile Waterplace Park of Providence.
Ah, 94 degrees! It made me dizzy, since I haven't experienced that in over two years, but goddamn was it wonderful. (I've only fainted once in my life, when I first went to N.C. for college and was covering the rededication of the un-air-conditioned law library for the school paper. In case you're wondering, it's kind of like a head rush at first -- my vision was staticky. Then orange, then green, then purple and I managed to find a carrell to collapse quietly in. Then of course black.)
Part of what made it wonderful was that I was in air-conditioned splendor every single place I went, the entire week I was there. I only had to experience the heat when I chose to. God bless the largesse of the pharmaceutical industry. I was in town for a humongous rheumatology conference. They had poster sessions every day and I believe my friends in academia would be amazed by the quantity of posters. The aisles of posters went on and on, farther than the eye could see, much like the file cabinets or beehives of older episodes of "The X-Files." They were numbered from zero well past 1000.
And of course, I have a story. I went to a bookstore because I had nothing to read on the plane and there was this amazingly irritating girl who worked there, talking on her cell phone. I could write some of the things she said, but you wouldn't get the grating voice. Suffice to say she was on the phone just because she, and presumably the person she was talking to, was passing time at work, and not because there was any actual conversation to be had.
Finally she got off the phone and that was when I heard a quieter conversation closer to me. "The only way to get rid of God is to read these books. Yesss. Yesss. The seraphim -- trinkets -- yesss. They make people believe. Yesss." Needless to say this guy did not work there and did not have a cell phone, let alone someone to talk to about these topics.
Anyone see the
conspiracy to-do, primarily reported by Salon.com, alleging that Bush has been channeling Karl Rove (or some other sinister mind) via a wire? That would really explain a lot. I thought Bush was actually pretty coherent and cogent on Friday. I should've known to be suspicious.
Went to a charity dinner for a client yesterday. Those things aren't getting any less boring, but the food was definitely better than expected.
Saturday I'm going to San Antonio for work. Everyone says it's beautiful. They all go on about the Riverwalk, which is a river with shops, restaurants, and other tourist bait alongside it. "Sounds like Providence," I thought. And in fact, I heard from someone that Providence's Riverwalk, or whatever the hell it's called, is modeled after San Antonio. Who knows if that's true, of course. Just like the "prairie cliff spiders" I heard about from an unremembered someone.
Wor(l)ds Collide
Today I was on a conference call -- they're called "telcons" or t/c for short -- this phrasing was novel to me -- and this woman who FDA-reviews all of our press releases was like, "Oh, how do we punctuate that safety label? I really need to bring in my copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves!" Clearly it was a joke so we all chuckled politely. But I felt strongly that my two worlds of nerds (who study language) and PR flacks (who misappropriate it) had overlapped, which doesn't happen very often. Sure enough, no one else had any idea what the hell she was talking about. They thanked me for explaining the joke after the call. But I've now established myself as the all-time biggest grammar geek in the office.
Eh, could be worse.
Hooray, baseball season's over! And now I have discovered the true, latent sports passion of the Prairie State: Big 10 football! I've recently learned that my coworkers spend all autumn long driving to unappealing destinations like South Bend, Lansing and wherever the hell Ohio State is. Go Wildcats.
I found something hilarious on United's website the other day. Click on their
frequent flyer program and then choose a title for yourself. Just one, now! Will it be Baroness? Or Elder? Or perhaps Gysgyt?
And if United calls you up to confirm a flight time, how will they ask if you're home? Would they ask for Countess Spears or just Her Ladyship?
