Spanksgiving!
I'm pretty late on this but should report on
Spanksgiving, as my good friend NFPJ likes to call it and I do too. It's possibly my favorite holiday. (Though that has a familiar ring to it; did I say that about July 4th, too?) It's always excellent because:
1. A whole bunch of my favorite people are there, including the entire Delaware crew plus my cousin Vino and 'rents, perhaps my fave blood relatives, and D-Murder always throws a party.
2. I never have to do any of the work because my mom always tells me, "Y'all are too busy." What this really means is that Colliculus and I are widely regarded as inferior cooks compared to my mother, sister, aunt, and Beyotch-Chef, but that works for me.
3. I never have to drive.
4. Even when I lived within driving distance, Colliculus shouldered that ugly, ugly burden.
Advantage #3 diminished somewhat this year as Colliculus, my sis Darling Angel and I spent 3 hellish hours sitting on the floor at Midway Airport waiting for our plane to show up from God knows where. It became imperceptible an hour and a half after we got on the plane, when de-icing was complete and the plane was still sitting on the runway. We were sitting behind literally 10 full rows of toddler families. (This, we got for being the very first ones in Group A on a holiday weekend.) One after another, the kids had to pee, the parents tried to take them, the flight attendant pleaded with them not to so we wouldn't lose our spot in line, and everyone else glowered. Finally a guy jumped up, shouted, "My son has to go!" and trotted his son to the bathroom. By then no one blamed him. Meanwhile, Darling Angel noticed, the original kid was quietly peeing into a Dasani bottle across the aisle. A low point in air travel.
Eventually we took off and flew, circled Philly for an hour or so and finally woke my dad up at the terminal around 2:30 a.m. So basically #3 is now more of a disadvantage in my book (and my dad's), although Colliculus disagrees.
So much for why Spanksgiving rocks. The actual dinner (my family's) was at Beyotch-Chef's family's house. Notable was the blessing said by her grandmother. It covered not only heaven and earth, but also hell, all continents of the earth, Democrats and (mostly) Republicans, missionaries, everyone at the table, everyone not at the table, and some other topics so varied and sundry that her own son was rolling his eyes and sighing. I was just glad to be drunk. Also to have long hair that I could hide behind.
Did I mention that no one has EVER said a blessing at a meal with my family there?
