Hooray, baseball season's over! And now I have discovered the true, latent sports passion of the Prairie State: Big 10 football! I've recently learned that my coworkers spend all autumn long driving to unappealing destinations like South Bend, Lansing and wherever the hell Ohio State is. Go Wildcats.

I found something hilarious on United's website the other day. Click on their frequent flyer program and then choose a title for yourself. Just one, now! Will it be Baroness? Or Elder? Or perhaps Gysgyt?

And if United calls you up to confirm a flight time, how will they ask if you're home? Would they ask for Countess Spears or just Her Ladyship? 

¶ 10:58 PM